When someone you love is experiencing grief

If a friend or family member is hurting, it can be difficult to find the “right” things to say or do. You may never fully understand the gravity of someone else’s loss or depth of their relationship, and that’s ok. Set aside your own ideas about pets and grief, and simply show support and love. 

Washington State University has a great resource on supporting others who are grieving.

  • What to do:

    Actively listen to them in a nonjudgmental way. They may need a shoulder to cry on, or may not be ready to talk, and just need a friend to sit in silence with them.

    Ask how they’re doing, let them know you’re there if they need anything.

    Be a quiet presence, and show gentle concern for their wellbeing. This isn’t about you.

    Help them celebrate the pet’s life by reminiscing with photographs and sharing happy memories you may have.

  • What NOT to do:

    Avoid talking about your own pets or comparing their experience with others.

    Don’t try to give advice (unless they ask for it) or tell them it will be ok – they don’t need you to “fix” it, just be there.

    Don’t judge their feelings or how they’re processing the loss. There’s no wrong way to grieve.

    NEVER say things like “it’s just a pet” or “you can just get another one.” Minimizing the relationship they shared or the importance of the pet will only hurt them further.

*If someone expresses anything potentially dangerous, like self-harm, talk to them (or their friends or family) about your concerns and how you might be able help.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
suicidepreventionlifeline.org
24/7 FREE and confidential support